Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why are we explaining today’s “climate change” as driven by human related “green house” gasses when natural “global warming” pushed sea level up to the “shores” of Topeka with no human contribution or even presence? Is Occam’s Rasor applied?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What does it feel like to "lose your looks" to age?

The sadness was still there.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Why is blood sugar ranging from 70-180 in a day and checked through a glucometer?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Is it common for girlfriends to have close male friends who are single and not related to them?

You are like me, then.

And the sadness?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

Do you even realise that NASA could've hid or bury every single piece of evidence for a flat-earth and exaggerate their evidence? Have you ever question materialist scientific narratives?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Are there any more 'nun' jokes?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of trying and failing.

5 daily habits suggested by top US doctor that protect the brain from early cognitive decline - Times of India

I had run out of hope.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Do Marines really not need sleep during combat training or in general? If this is true, how and why is this possible?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Be who you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Who believes that Speaker Mike Johnson will NOT certify ‘a free and fair and legal election'? Why?

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.